Ric-rac & Retro: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Party

On the night before the big day my head didn't hit the pillow until after midnight. I had blown balloons, hung garlands, iced the cake, created signs and written my to do list for the morning. I suspect however that the sense of unpreparedness I felt as I struggled to get to sleep (or when I woke before the birthday girl at a quarter past five the next morning) had little to do with the party and more to do with significance of the day itself. At 5.59am I whispered to Justice Boy, "It's Munchkin's birthday! This is the time she was born." As he grunted acknowledgement I realised I was too excited to sleep and took myself off to chop tomatoes for bruschetta.

The first few weeks felt like a year in themselves. Labour, birth, recovery, breastfeeding, coming home, trying to process everything, banning the news because I couldn't watch it without crying, eating ravenously, reaching a level of exhaustion I didn't know was possible to survive, an overwhelming desire to protect and sense of inadequacy about how exactly that was going to be possible. It was a year of unpredictability, early hospital visits, unexpected feeding challenges, hours upon hours trying to get the baby to sleep and stay asleep. An emotional whirlwind of a year when I felt everything from empowerment, self confidence,connectedness, camaraderie, and amazement to isolation, disappointment, desperation and depression in a matter of months. At four months I literally didn't know how we'd ever make it.

So my baby turning one was a milestone for us both and I wanted to throw a party that somehow expressed the way I feel about her, however intangible that goal was!

The party (of our immediate families) was a lovely Somewhere Over the Rainbow lunch time affair. My very own Munchkin delighted in the attention, was appropriately impressed by her presents and was spoiled for choice in exciting new foods like chocolate and liquorice allsorts.